Growing up, modesty wasn’t something imposed on me—it was simply part of who I was. Even as a child, I didn’t like exposing my arms. My mum would wonder why, especially since she’d buy me lovely tops, but I would always layer them with sweaters. This habit wasn’t forced; it just felt more comfortable and natural. To this day, it still feels odd to go out with my arms uncovered.
This preference for modesty carried through to my high school years. I remember being grateful for our school’s boundaries—hugging members of the opposite gender, drinking, and smoking were all frowned upon, and honestly, I loved that environment. It set me on a path where I felt safe and connected to my faith, free from pressures to conform to the world’s standards. Later, I joined a Christian university with similar values. It was a place where modesty, respect, and self-control were upheld, and alcohol and cigarettes were strict taboos. Knowing that I was surrounded by others who felt the same way made it a haven for me.
That’s why, coming from these environments, it felt like a shock to visit a church and see a restaurant within the church compound, where people smoked openly. I remember feeling a deep sense of discomfort. It wasn’t about judging others but simply about the cultural and spiritual contrast—it was like seeing holiness diluted. This reaction surprised even me; I had such a deep love for an atmosphere that respected God’s presence.
Looking back, I realise God has used these boundaries and preferences to strengthen my walk with Him, guiding me away from situations that might pull my focus away from Him. Many friendships and relationships that have ended were ones where people tried to take His place in my life. For instance, my ex constantly fought with me over my late-night devotion times, from 1am to 4am. He couldn’t understand my commitment to reading the Bible, watching sermons, and growing genuinely closer to God. Eventually, God severed that connection. Even with some friends, God removed people from my life who drew my focus to worldly things, like money and influence, instead of Him.
Each morning before my devotion, I pray a simple prayer: that God would remove anything from my life that hinders my relationship with Him. When people begin to fade away, I understand that it’s God’s way of answering that prayer. He often replaces them with friends who seek Him just as earnestly, creating deep and meaningful bonds rooted in our love for God. I genuinely love being around people of faith—not out of pretense but because I feel drawn to that environment.
It’s a powerful reminder to appreciate the friends who pull us closer to God and to let go of those who don’t. Some may say God wants us to be around those who need Him, but as I often remind myself, the harvest belongs to God. When someone is ready to know Christ, He will send the right person to guide them. Until then, I trust that He will surround me with those who keep my focus on Him.
Reflecting on this, I’m reminded that God’s standards are there to protect us. Staying rooted in Him and surrounding ourselves with like-minded friends is a precious gift. Holiness, after all, is not a burden but a path that draws us closer to Him. May we value and cherish friends who help us walk that path.
Have a beautiful day 🖤